Sports Illustrated took a break from championing one fat woman as a model, and named its 2016 Sportsperson of the Year: LeBron James. They were disappointed to have to do so, having been gazumped by ESPN into being the first person to name Caitlyn Jenner an award winner, and all momentum lost with “I Am Cait” being cancelled.
Forced as they were to name an actual athlete, and having given the award to Serena Williams last year, LeBron was their next best chance at grandstanding. James turned up for the photoshoot in an exceptionally fruity outfit, with a prominently displayed safety pin to make his slactivist statement.
Nitwits and whiners took to wearing safety pins after Trump’s election win in November. I exaggerate slightly: they said they would wear safety pins on Twitter, and/or posted selfies of themselves wearing them in their bathrooms and kitchens, or security coded workplaces. The HuffPo and NYT staff probably actually did wear them. The idea was to tell you that that the wearer was a “safe space” where you could whinge about things you’d mentally invented or read exaggerations of on HuffPo – or if you weren’t an idiot, it told you that the wearer was an idiot.
It took no effort at all to be this type of dickhead: everyone has one somewhere in their home, and if you were competent enough to attach one to your clothing without spiking yourself, you could play the victim, regardless of how entitled, rich or physically safe you were.
It went away quick, because none of the people wearing it were actually unsafe.
Anyway, back to LeBron. LeBron wouldn’t have been in any risk of spiking himself – some overpaid assistant would have purchased the enlarged pin and affixed it to his one-wear-only spiv-coat. No effort involved there. James campaigned for Hillary, and he’s wearing the pin here, so he obviously feels very strongly about the negative issues he feels America faces by Trump being elected President, right?
Not strongly enough to vote. Not in this election, and not in Obama’s two elections. James hasn’t voted since 2004. It’s vitally important he tell you to vote for, and make his whiney statement by wearing this pin, but not important enough to actually register and click the button to vote. The ‘campaigning’ he did for Hillary was just another public appearance, probably paid. The safety pin flame had burned out a month before his photoshoot.
This, for me, seals James as the Sportsperson of the Millennials. Whinge about everything you can, but don’t actually do anything more time-consuming than copy-pasting a hashtag. Are turtle-necks still in? How are my hairplugs?