Idiots’ happiness lasts one hour

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The Trump Presidency continued to provide us with tremendous comedy yesterday.

The over-excited bullshitters at ABC reported that a “confidant” of Michael Flynn had told them Flynn was prepared to testify that then-candidate Donald Trump instructed him to contact Russian officials during the campaign.

Flynn, fired by Trump 9 months ago for lying, pled guilty yesterday to lying to the FBI, and faces a four-figure fine.  Left-wing nutjobs and Anti-Trumpers had obviously forgotten he’d been fired, or have just combined anyone who is not loudly abusing Trump into one giant rat-king.

This led to a flood of lunatic Tweets announcing Trump would be immediately impeached, found guilty of treason and jailed or executed.

It also led to a magnificent bit of television, which ABC has since deleted from their own site, YouTube, Facebook and Twitter, where a tubby fruit passed insane, annoying voiced host Joy Behar a bit of blue cardboard which read out the news with increasing excitement.

“Michael Flynn promised full cooperation to the Mueller team … and is prepared to testify that as a candidate Donald Trump directed him to MAKE CONTACT WITH THE RUSSIANS!!!”

No further analysis required. A crowd full of likely drunk women with nothing to do on a weekday cheered loudly.  She then tossed the card into the air with joy, and clapped along with the cheering crowd.

Feminists of the world: the hosts and their audience are your gender pay gap. It was the most embarrassing thing you’ve ever seen on television, made worse when it turned out later to be wrong.

LOOK AT THIS FUCKING PERSON

California Senator and template old bag Diane Feinstein was so excited, she pumped out a “Logan Act” statement, which is still up on her website a day later:

“Michael Flynn’s guilty plea is about more than just lying to the FBI. What he lied about and when he did it are of even greater significance.

“This shows a Trump associate negotiating with the Russians against U.S. policy and interests before Donald Trump took office and after it was announced that Russia had interfered in our election. That’s a stunning revelation and could be a violation of the Logan Act, which forbids unauthorized U.S. citizens from negotiating with a foreign power.”

Hillary Clinton plant James Comey weighed in with his own Bible-boner using his one tweet ever badly:

All of this excitement and fake news resulted the great Bear Market of 11am to 12pm, December 1, 2017.

Tragically for Diane Feinstein, Anti-Trumpers, Joy Behar and her Brentwood mothers and short hedge funds, that immediate spike back upwards was caused by the fake news being debunked by its originator: ABC News clarified that the source had actually said that after the election, Trump assigned Flynn and others to urge de-escalation with a nuclear power over an Obama action.  Unfortunately, that sounds like a good thing.

It seems like the story was never run by ABC fact checkers, as if that’s a thing.

ABC called it a “correction”, despite the correct information entirely debunking the theme of their original story.

What a bummer.

The journalist, blue tick social media and political statements after ABC’s initial fake news read less like serious statements and more like texts from an angry ex.

This isn’t the first time in history major news outlets have whipped themselves into a frenzy over a sitting President.  Just the worst.  But it is the first time journalists have correctly assumed they’d be lauded as heroes for publishing and dispersing non-corroborated, non-vetted rushed narrative pieces passed off as facts.

It’s almost impossible for the average person to find reasonably fact checked news. Newspapers were never truly objective, but they were also never this deliberately bad.  ABC will suffer zero negative consequences from yesterday’s bullshittery, and a tonne of positive Anti-Trump branding: “We’re the first to bring you any bad news about Trump!” might be their new strapline.

The Fourth Estate has gone the way of quality rock and roll music and hairy bushes in pornography.  A distant memory of better days.

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