Great opportunity, with great specificity, for a VIP ticket to Coachella

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Well, this is just a tremendous opportunity if you are:

  • Female, 19-25, and willing to travel in Jesse Pinkman’s RV,
  • Dress like a Millennial hippy, and like shitty music,
  • Want to go to Coachella, but not fraternise with any people within 40 years of your age,
  • Enjoy snacks like jerky and peanut butter sandwiches,
  • Like moisturising, painting your toenails and fingernails, having your hair brushed by a 56 year-old, and have someone watch you clip your toenails, apply lipstick and pluck your eyebrows,
  • Would like your carefully cultivated Instagram image ruined by multiple appearances with said 56 year old man,
  • Have some previous escort experience that will help you pull off the bathroom mirror note, sexily saying “you’re naughty”, telling your ‘companion’ you’re “having a really good time”, and can convincingly make periodic eye contact,

And of course, are prepared to gamble that you won’t be buried in the desert at some point during the ride home.

 

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