Great Moments in Broadcasting: Amanda Knox gets her own TV show

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In the history of television, there have been many, many shows made that no-one asked for.  Anything involving a former cast member of Friends comes to mind.

Amanda Knox will be joining that extensive list with a new show with a hilarious premise.  The show will be a five-episode series not called “Four and a Half Shows Too Many”, but instead called The Scarlet Letter Reports, which will be…..wait for it……“exploring the gendered nature of public shaming.”  The show is being made by recently-outed-sexual-harassers, Vice, for their weirdly named lady channel, Broadly, and will premiere on Facebook Watch.

I promise, I did not make up one word of that previous paragraph.

Knox has no documentary or interview experience, other than being on the end of interrogations by weird Italian police officers.

Knox’s claim to fame is due to a sex crime murder in Italy where her British foreign exchange student roommate ended up knifed to death post sex-game with a duvet tossed over her, and Knox and her dopey boyfriend were assumed to have been involved, either before or after a fourth guy took a giant shit in the bathroom.  Knox took a number of turns being convicted and acquitted, because, along with never having won a war or mass-produced a decent car, Italy has a justice system that apparently has not heard of the double jeopardy rule.

Knox claims she has unique insight:

“While on trial for a murder I didn’t commit, my prosecutor painted me as a sex-crazed femme fatale with magical powers to control men. The tabloids loved that story. So did the public. So did the jury. I lost years of my life to prison because of two-dimensional and misogynist stereotypes.”

To be fair to the buffoons who ran the investigation, nothing in history has had the magical powers to control men – especially pimply 19 year old virgins – like the potential for nude action with a woman.  Not such a big leap.

Her first guest is former stripper and headliner of “Slut Walk”, Amber Rose.  Rose will likely lay out her own suffering at the hands of these stereotypes, from making a living as a stripper, to making millions on social media in a thong, to being Kanye West’s former girlfriend. But heretofore, no murder convictions, due to not standing over the dead body of your roommate in a bathtub.

Knox is a narcissistic loon, with a tenuous grip on reality. She was last seen dating a dipshit with her name on his letterman jacket, and a partly shaven beard.  Proving possibly that she is still a sex-crazed femme fatale with magical powers over men.  Just don’t reply to her Craigslist foursome ad.

 

 

 

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